I'm sitting here, face now dry, makeup now run, trying to work out for the life of me when it all started, why it all started and if it could have been avoided. Or would the anorexia have muscled into Ben's life regardless. In other words, was he doomed from the start?
Monday, 30 April 2012
Sunday, 29 April 2012
It started yesterday when I did a much-needed clear-out of the back bedroom. I went through a suitcase full of stuff I'd collected over the years: Ben's primary school reports, certificates and other stuff, and a mountain of stuff I'd collected over the last 7 years to form a lasting memory of his years at the senior school - the school we'd all dreamed of him getting a place at and which, before ED the anorexia 'demon' arrived, was rapidly becoming the making of Ben.
Friday, 27 April 2012
Thank you, my brilliant blog followers, for coming straight back with some very sensible, helpful and practical advice on what to do about the insomnia / social / all the other disarray that the ED's left in its wake. This is what I've decided to do - and I've told Ben that I'm not 'asking' if he'd like to do it, but TELLING him that he needs to do it, so we're doing it, no objections allowed.
I know Ben managed to study almost exclusively at home for his GCSEs AND get really good results, but the school says it's very different for A Levels, especially with Ben having to resit some of last year's AS Level exams at the same time. Exams are less than a month away and he's only been in school for a total of 8 hours this week...
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Okay, so Ben is finding it harder than ever to go into school. His insomnia is back with a vengeance, fuelled by anxiety, which means he is missing large chunks of school. On top of this he has A Levels in a month's time. So what can be done? Well, I've come up with 3 x plans: A, B and C which I'm going to go through with him this afternoon to see if it will take some of the pressure off him.
Monday, 23 April 2012
And so the social isolation continues, and I can't help but feel it's mainly self-imposed isolation. If I thought that Ben was isolating himself from his peers a few months or even a year ago, it is now far, far worse. And, to be honest, I haven't a clue what to do.
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Ben is almost up to 60kg which, in my eyes, is excellent. But I'm not so sure that it is in ED's eyes, that little bit of the eating disorder that's still left inside Ben's head, desperately trying for a last ditch attempt to win Ben back to its evil ways.
Friday, 20 April 2012
Probably not. Because, at that stage, Ben - egged on by the Anorexia 'Demon' - was actively working against us. Like many people with anorexia, he was also a dab hand at pulling the wool over people's eyes. As I grew to know the Anorexia Demon's sneaky tricks, I could usually tell when Ben was lying to us, hiding food or throwing it away 'in secret'.
Thursday, 19 April 2012
Without doubt, one of the Number One drivers in moving Ben's recovery from anorexia forward over the past 13 months has been our Recovery Contract (see the tabbed link at the top or click here to find out more). I introduced it on 20th March 2011 after a mum in the States emailed me the Contract she uses for her daughter. It worked for them, so - fed up with being stuck in a kind of Limboland with Ben at the time - I decided to give it a try. We never looked back - and if you are looking for something to put the dynamite into your child's recovery, it might just work for you.
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Lorraine Kelly show yesterday.
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
Batty and 'Ben' appeared on ITV's 'Lorraine' with Lorraine Kelly today (just after GMTV's Daybreak programme (Tuesday 17th April), talking about the frightening rise of anorexia in boys (which the media sometimes call 'manorexia', on the Lorraine programme our slot was entitled 'Tackling Manorexia'). Anyway, we've just got back home after a long, long, long day with Lorraine Kelly and everyone (actually we were only in the ITV studio for a couple of hours, and with Lorraine Kelly for 5 or 6 minutes), and - boy - are we seriously tired!!
Monday, 16 April 2012
Firstly, yes the TV is going ahead. Secondly, this is what I plan to say - just in case I get sidetracked, get stage fright or don't have enough time to say it...
Saturday, 14 April 2012
The latest news on the telly appearance on Tuesday morning is that it's 'on hold' and we won't find out until Monday morning, just hours before our train is due to leave for London, if it's going ahead of not.
Friday, 13 April 2012
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Batty and Ben have been invited to appear on ITV's Good Morning show with Lorraine Kelly on Tuesday morning - an interview set up to highlight the growing number of teenage boys being diagnosed with anorexia and other eating disorders. We have a 6-8 minute slot so it will be like trying to cram a king size duvet into a mobile phone pouch. And, of course, viewers will see us under our real names.
Thursday, 5 April 2012
My punishment for juggling too many balls recently, me thinks, but I've been really poorly this week. Thankfully I'm a lot better today and Ben has been so sweet looking after me, serving up non-stop home-made 'comfort food' from mini Chelsea buns, chocolate brownies and chocolate mini egg nests to apple crumble and custard, sticky chewy datey bars and amaretti biscuits to dunk in reviving cocoa. And, yes, he has been eating these things too - and more, including the twice weekly Graze Box I now get for him.