Today we saw a really lovely lady from CAMHS - someone whose job it is to handle the transition between CAMHS (for under 18s) and Adult Services, University or whatever other transition it is. But I couldn't help feeling that I was informing her, rather than the other way round...
Not only this but Ben was in his 'why use 20 words when one will do' frame of mind, doubtless because he felt exactly the same way as I did.
Thankfully the time to leave CAMHS has cooincided with a time when I feel that Ben and I can probably (not 'definitely' but 'probably') manage on our own. And if we DID need any help, I tend to think that Adult Services or some other form of new assistance could do more damage than good at this late stage.
The thing is, I know Ben and his eating disorder better than anyone - except our CAMHS psychiatrist, perhaps, who is leaving and who we have to leave anyway now that Ben is 18.
With the support of this psychiatrist, it is I that have 'managed' Ben's eating disorder 24/7 over the past 2.5 years. For a long while now he has trusted me, just as he trusts the psychiatrist. I really don't think that anyone in our local Adult Mental Health Services would be of any use at this stage.
And, like I said, they could do more damage than good.
No, I don't entirely like being cut adrift to float out to sea, but it's better than the other option and it has to happen at some point. Also, there will be trained people to support Ben at university (I sincerely hope), should the worst happen.
So this is really where I take the reins and Ben is in complete agreement.
Tomorrow we see the psychiatrist, probably for the last or last-but-one time.
And although I didn't see eye to eye with her all the time, she has become a friendly part of our lives and we will miss her. I know Ben will miss her.
But now Mama's in charge and that's not a bad thing, really...
Looking for information on eating disorders in boys? Worried that your son has an eating disorder? How can you tell if a boy has an eating disorder? In 2009 my 15-year-old son developed anorexia. Now, aged 28, he is recovered & studying psychology in order to help others. This blog tells the story of my son's recovery from anorexia as well as raising awareness of eating disorders in boys.
No, not a bad thing exactly, but it would certainly be better if there was someone sympathetic there to support you and provide a safety net. I know from my own experiences of supporting my daughter (through mental illness) that even if you do know best, you can get a bit tired. Still, I suppose as Ben is getting older and moving out of the house you will have some time to rest.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Batty, for all the work you have done with Ben over the last 2.5 years! Always be proud that you saved your son's life.
ReplyDeleteLet's catch up again soon for a cappo.
xxx
It's really great that you're such a strong support to Ben, he is lucky to have you. I would only say that in my experience of working with people with Anorexia Nervosa, they can only make significant progress on their recovery journey when they truly want to leave AN behind and are ready to make changes. It really needs to come from Ben, HE needs to be empowered to be in charge with you in a supporting role.
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