I think it was dear Charlotte's death last Monday that started it off but I've been mega down in the doldrums for a few days. You know, those days when you latch onto negative things rather than positive... For example today when I got my first negative book review on Amazon and - typically of me - I took it personally, despite the fact that I have umpteen excellent reviews.
And also when I tried to get my books onto our local city library
shelves only to be told that they don't consider 'self-publishers'.
(Actually I publish through a company called Creative Copy, the
publishing arm of my existing writing business, so I prefer to class myself as an Independent Publisher or Indie Publisher.)
So then my mind goes into 'you're rubbish' mode. 'You're rubbish, you're a fake, you're not a "real author",' despite the fact that I am a real writer, having worked as a copywriter for 25 years and that I'm about to embark on an MA in Writing.
But my silly head ignores all the positive stuff and latches onto the negative.
And, yes, I know that when you publish a book - especially a book where you describe your emotions in such honest and raw detail - you are opening yourself up for criticism. You have to be prepared to take the hard knocks as well as the warm hugs...
It's just that I'm not very good at doing that.